Archive for the "Uncategorized" category

Caelan’s Sparkly Frozen Party (Pic Heavy!)

Through an amazing turn of events, we were given the opportunity to throw a super special birthday party for Caelan this year. We were also lucky enough to have a photographer come and capture the magic of the Super Sparkly Frozen party. Brett from Hand in Hand photography was amazing in his connection to the [...]

Remember Avery

It has been 4 years, 2 months, 2 weeks and 5 days since he came into this world.  His name is Avery and is my son.  A beautiful and lanky long boy who weighed 4 kg and had velvet fuzz on his head, the colour of morning sunkissed wheat.  It was copper and golden, full [...]

Dear Ada and Chrys

Dear Ada and Chrys, I am so terribly, deeply saddened to hear of the tragic stillbirth of your son Harrison. I wish with all of my heart that no family ever has to suffer through the pain of saying goodbye to a much wanted baby. I hope you are surrounded by the cushioning love of [...]

Love Child

Train Wrecking. I watch, I feel, I acknowledge. The woman grieves for the babe taken. Removed from her womb. I am her. Both our arms are empty. She leaves hospital, with a memory. Belly shadows her history. Downy and soft. Hiding the angular pain. The loss in her heart Stabbing, bleeding, tears of anguish Obsession [...]


He never lived here.  He barely existed here, but I cannot help but feel close to Avery when I am home at my mother’s house. Perhaps it is the quiet.  The hush of the country air allowing my mind to think.  Perhaps it is the sense of family and closeness, and the fact there is [...]

Dear Avery – the first letter

I am currently deleting masses of old files from my computer. It is a trip down memory lane, and I am finding so many treasures within my warped filing system. Through it all, I just found this. The first ever letter I wrote to Avery. ———————————– Dearest little one. It’s taken us so long to [...]

A little to close too home

**disclaimer** I forgot to say, he is ok! Just an MRI!! Caelan is currently under a general anaesthetic. I am waiting in the foyer of the hospital, hugging my chai too close, smacking my burnt tongue against the roof of my mouth. The smell of carnations and roses have infiltrated my nose, and yet it’s [...]

Re-meeting part of my heart

On our final day in hospital a little Avery Magic came floating into our room. Her name is Natalie. She held my hand when Avery was born. For 21 months I thought about her and ‘Scottish Claire’ and what they did for me that day. Hospital midwives who were with me. I’ve wanted to see [...]

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