I know I know… the blog has been neglected. I’m sorry. For you and for me, because so many things have been happening, and I have just not been recording them. Le Sigh. Life has been more than a little bit crazy the last few months. Hospital, Traveling, Hospital, Doctors, Hospital, Baby, Home, Hospital, Drs, [...]

I wrote recently about the anxiety attack Tara had when we had our photo shoot with the wonderful Adam from Cavanagh Photography.  This photo session was organised by a lovely friend of mine from online.  I felt so blessed that Natalie, Adam and Kim wanted to offer such a sweet gift to my family, to [...]

So, this baby is going to be here soon.  One way ore another, it is going to be here and we will be taking the next steps as a family.  I have lots of people who say things like “this will be perfect” or “you’ll have a happy ending” but the truth is, while yes, [...]

In less than 50 days I am going to be holding a baby in my arms.  Next month. A few weeks.  No time at all really. And I waiver between being excited and shit scared. We have been in this place before.  Looking forward to a baby, prepared for them to arrive, only for fate [...]

If you have known me for a long time, you will know my thoughts on babywearing.  For those who are new to this game, let’s just say – it is very important.  In fact, that is probably an understatement in my books. Currently there is a movement going on in Australia called Carrying On Campaign [...]

Baby loss grief brings up lots of things in your mind, and for me, it brings out a side of me I really don’t like and spend a lot of time trying to fight back, change and stuff back into a box. But I guess that’s something about grief, it’s not rational.  No matter how [...]

I am holding her in my arms and its is so natural.  She is nestling in between my breasts sleeping sweetly while my body automatically rocks back and forth.  Rhythmically and gently we sway. And then my heart races, pounding.  I look down and stare at her face.  One… Two… Three… I pull at her [...]

Avery’s Casket, with my bear, some photos, some flowers.  Casket open. It was Thursday morning.  I woke after a restless night of sleep of tossing, and turning.  My body was tired and sore, but my head was worse. It was late and I joined the family in the lounge room.  Quiet chatter buzzed in competition [...]

It’s the first day of June.  And I am due early July.  That’s not a long way away.  In fact, it is scarily close. I cannot believe that a baby that I longed for, wished for, dreamed for and tried for 3 and a half years to bring into being is a mere month-or-so away [...]

I’m 22 weeks now.  I think.  Oh, really, I don’t know.  I’m due July sometime. That’s all I need to know. So anyways, this baby is growing. It’s got a head, a heart, some fingers and toes.  Everything is in its place at the right size etc etc etc. And I feel so so so [...]