Posts Tagged "Me Me Me"

Every Mile

I feel the earth between my fingers and toes where the roots of the giant oak tree grows I feel the sun bathing on my skin where the memory of touch travels further within I feel the wind whistling through my hair tracing into my lungs with energy filled air I feel the rain soaking [...]

Dear Avery

Happy Birthday my dear, sweet, boy. It is just after midnight. Today, tomorrow.  They blur frightfully into one haze. The 14th. July 14. Oh how my heart aches right now!  To a point that I feel it may just melt into a puddle alongside my tears, pooling together, staining everything once more. Shattering over and [...]

What I Am Missing

When your child dies, you miss out on everything.  All the dreams that you created while carrying them in your womb crash down the moment they do not breathe, but there are some things that make my heart lurch and ache that little bit more. I desperately long and ache over never breastfeeding my baby [...]

Blessed

Today has been amazing.  The collective outpouring of love (after the Digital Photography School article) flowing my family’s way has been nothing short of astounding.  I am completely overwhelmed. This is what I call, Avery Magic.   Thank you for getting the word out about Heartfelt. Thank you for spreading my family’s story. Thank you [...]

Dear Avery

11 Months. I want to scream and shout and rant at the world.  I want to tell the universe to fucking leave me alone. I want you back and I would sell my soul to have it so. I cannot believe that we are staring down the barrel of one year.  How is it that [...]

Set Free

**this post talks in detail aboutmy miscarriage. Please note it may be traumatic for some, or bring up feelings of grief.  If you need someone to talk to, SIDS and Kids have a 24-hour Bereavement Support Line – 1800 651 186*   The waves come to a crescendo, and my body goes still in its [...]

Dry

**written Monday night**   I sit here, dry. My mind is numb.  It has been that way for days. I stare at them. 1, 2, 3, 4… 5.  All of them the same. Positive.  Hope.  Success. But they lied. Each and every one of them. I sit here cradled on the couch as my body [...]

Brave… Again

My disappointment is beyond rational.  Though that is a bit normal for me at the moment (being irrational). I thought I was going to the first screening of Brave in Sydney.  Was excited. I still am. But I just found out that there is a pre-premiere screening of it. On Monday. As part of the [...]

Burning

Last night I burned a candle for the first time in… weeks. It sat and flickered on the mantle piece, dancing in the darkness and illuminating Avery’s face.  Tara stared at it, the glow lighting up her eyes. “Oh wow, mama” she whispered as she stared at the flame. My body feels alight with grief [...]

Sideswiped

I’ve been sideswiped. Just when I think I have some sort of understanding and control over how I feel, I am completely bowled over by the force that then hits me. My head starts pounding.  I can’t focus and my eyes hurt.  The breath in my lungs builds like a balloon as the quick gasps [...]

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