Happy Birthday my dear, sweet, boy. It is just after midnight. Today, tomorrow. They blur frightfully into one haze. The 14th. July 14. Oh how my heart aches right now! To a point that I feel it may just melt into a puddle alongside my tears, pooling together, staining everything once more. Shattering over and [...]
Posts Tagged "remembrance"
She sneaks out of her room, head tilted towards the carpet. She is not supposed to be out of bed, and the sheepish body language makes it obvious she knows she is pushing the boundaries. I am ready to get my snark on. I don’t want to be dealing with this attitude right at this [...]
When your child dies, you miss out on everything. All the dreams that you created while carrying them in your womb crash down the moment they do not breathe, but there are some things that make my heart lurch and ache that little bit more. I desperately long and ache over never breastfeeding my baby [...]
I’ve been sideswiped. Just when I think I have some sort of understanding and control over how I feel, I am completely bowled over by the force that then hits me. My head starts pounding. I can’t focus and my eyes hurt. The breath in my lungs builds like a balloon as the quick gasps [...]
10 months. I could be sappy. I could be hurt. I could be jaded. But I am just lost. I hate you. I hate you for not being here. I hate you for leaving us. I hate you for breaking my heart. I hate you for dying. But I love you beyond measure and the [...]
Today is International Bereaved Mothers Day. A day for Mothers who hold their children in their hearts instead of their arms. So to all of you, I light my candle, and love you from afar. Blessings to you, on this First Sunday of May.
She looks at me with sadness in her eyes. Hollow eyes. So much missing. Empty. Gently I suggest we go and talk. She leads the way and throws herself down on the quilted bed-spread. An exaggerated sigh escapes as she curls herself into the fetal position. I lay down next to her gently, kissing her [...]
Wishes for Avery Dear Avery I think of you in the sky and I send you my wishes my eyes hurt and they crash into the ground I love you so much and I miss you I want to cuddle you but I send my wishes to the sky instead I love you Avery Love [...]
Hello my sweetheart. It has been 8 months my darling and I feel I am finding a different place in my grief. The pain has become a gentle drumming in my heart and only occasionally do I feel that stabbing pain. I feel grateful and yet, at the same time, sad that the intensity is [...]
I know I start each of these letters the same way, but dear boy, time has been moving away from me again. Each day, each week, each month the distance grows. 5 long, hard, beautiful, amazing, terrifying, lonely months. We are coming up to Christmas here now. Your first. We have decorations on the tree [...]